


maybe we're already defeated

by theyoungestzerogmechanic



Series: 100 ways to say [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 100 Ways to say I love you Challenge, 100 ways to say i love you, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, F/F, Future Fic, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6036444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungestzerogmechanic/pseuds/theyoungestzerogmechanic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and Raven talk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>31. 'don't worry about me'</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe we're already defeated

**Author's Note:**

> can i just start by saying i don't even know what this is? anyway this is for prompt 31 'don't worry about me' in the 100 ways to say i love you challenge.
> 
> title from adele's _love you in the dark_

Clarke spots Raven when she leaves the cafeteria, sitting just outside the fence with her shoulders hunched and her arms wrapped around her knees. She looks small against the backdrop of the trees and Clarke wonders if this is something she does a lot; leaves the camp walls to sit and stare at the forest. She wonders if Raven ever sat and thought about her after she left.

Clarke stops by the fence, checking for the tell-tale humming that signifies the fence is on before ducking underneath the wire and moving to join Raven.

“Hi,” Clarke says, settling beside her in the grass and dusting off her palms against her knees.

“Did you consider that maybe I wanted to be alone?” Raven says, and her voice is soft but there’s an edge to it. 

“Sorry,” Clarke says, and she’s moving to stand when Raven’s hand comes up to grip her wrist.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Raven says, tugging at Clarke’s wrist, “I don’t mind if you sit with me for a while.”

“Of course,” Clarke says, sitting back down and curling her legs up underneath her. “It’s nice back here; the camp is too busy for me sometimes.”

Clarke thinks about the months she spent alone, wandering the forest, hating herself and everything she’d done on Earth to survive. The time in Polis, trying to keep track of who was a friend and who wasn’t, time spent in negotiations to that her people could live in peace. 

“Do you ever think about leaving again?” 

“Sometimes,” Clarke says, “But not like it’s something I’m going to do again, I just miss it sometimes. The freedom, not being responsible for the lives of so many people, the sights. I don’t miss being alone though.”

“I think about going sometimes,” Raven says, resting her cheek against her knees so she can look at Clarke, “Not that I’d make it far, not like this.” Her hand taps her brace.

“We’ll go together one day,” Clarke says, her fingers running over the petals of the daisy by her right hand, “Not for long,” she says when she sees the look on Raven’s face, “Just for a few days. There’s a cabin about a day’s walk away that’s mostly still standing, with a lake and about half a day away there’s this field full of wild flowers. Although I guess technically all flowers are wild flowers now.”

“Sure,” Raven says, “It sounds nice, getting away from here for a while.”

“Yeah,” Clarke says softly. Half the Skaikru still look at her like she’s something to be feared, like she’s still Wanheda. Like everything she’s done hasn’t been for them, for the Hundred.

“What are you actually doing out here anyway?” Clarke asks, pulling up daisies and piling them in front of her.

“Thinking,” Raven says, watching the treeline sway in the wind. Clarke scrambles to grab at her flowers when the wind threatens to blow them away.

“I try not to think anymore,” Clarke says, tucking the flowers into her pocket. “It usually gets people killed.”

“Is that why you stepped down from being Skaikru’s ambassador and left Polis?”

“Partly,” Clarke says, “Octavia’s doing a better job that I could have anyway.”

“Don’t you miss being in charge?”

“Sometimes, but it’s better like this.” Clarke says. 

“What was it like out there?” Raven asks, shivering in the strong wind.

“Lonely, wild,” Clarke says, tugging off her jacket and draping it across Raven’s shoulders, “It was like being in charge of camp, but without the constant worry that you’re going to get somebody killed.”

“You could have gotten yourself killed,” Raven says. Sometimes she doesn’t think that Clarke believes her life means all that much. And then, “Are you sure? It’s freezing out here.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Clarke says, and Raven gets the feeling she’s talking about more than just the cold, “Besides; if you get sick I’m the one who has to treat you.”

“I get it, you’re just looking out for yourself,” Raven says, letting Clarke see the way the corners of her lips are curved upwards.

“Of course,” Clarke says, and there’s something wistful in her voice. 

They sit in silence for a while; Clarke watches the trees and Raven watches Clarke. 

“I’ve got to get going,” Clarke says eventually, “I have a shift in medical soon.”

“Okay,” Raven says, and starts to slide the jacket off her shoulders when Clarke holds up a hand to stop her.

“Don’t worry about it; I have a cardigan in my locker.”

“Are you sure?” Raven says, but she’s already zipping it back up to stop the cold bite of the wind.

“Yeah,” Clarke says softly, “Hold into it for a while, if I really need it I’ll come find you.”

Clarke stands and heads back to the fence. Raven watches her go and waits until she’s blocked by the kitchens to turn back to the treeline.

☆

Later, when she shoves her hands into the jacket’s pockets, she comes up with handfuls of dead flowers. 


End file.
